∞ 2/22/2012 (10:37am) 109 notes

can we stop beating our kids, please?

anedumacation:

Here’s the one argument that I can’t handle, and that I won’t listen to.

“We beat our kids, and they turn out right, unlike those white liberal idiots. I got beat and nothing bad happened to me, and you should beat your kids, because it will help them, not hurt them.”

Not everyone escapes from that kind of childhood as fucking unscathed as you were. For some, the harsh approach will work. What about the ones for whom that doesn’t work? I want to know about the people who fall through the cracks, I want to know what happens to those brown and black kids for whom the whip does nothing. I want to know whether you really think that’s a good thing for a kid, for them to feel more scared in their own home than anywhere else. I want to know what the advocates for corporeal punishment have to say when they see the increased rates of depression and mental illness that our communities suffer from — things that are directly affected by factors such as abuse in childhood. 

So yeah, thanks for the friendly advice, but I’m going to have a different kind of family. I’m going to break the cycle.

Sometimes, I think the white, middle class, liberal people we love to rag on have it right. Treating your kids with respect, treating them like equals, showing affection, showing that you love them unconditionally and that you’re going to support them no matter what — giving them a safe space to grow and develop — that’s fucking important. 

That’s developmentally important.

That’s something you can give your children, something that will prepare them for later life. Happy, confident children make happy, confident adults. That’s just a fact. 

I know that kind of time-consuming attention is a luxury that not all parents have. I’ve had it explained to me by those who are older and wiser that for some parents, beating your kids is the only way they know how to prepare their child for the realities of the world, a world which will put them through harsher trials than it will white children. 

But can we not make a virtue out of something that has always been a necessity? Can’t we ask ourselves what’s actually best for our kids, instead of glorifying what we do that’s different from what white people do? 

(via velocicrafter)

#abuse

Notes (109)

  1. diaryofafeminist reblogged this from fattypolitic
  2. sanaa-tamir reblogged this from velocicrafter
  3. miaoumaiden reblogged this from sourcedumal
  4. soulsentwined reblogged this from biyuti
  5. angrybanette reblogged this from eshusplayground
  6. totolindo reblogged this from vampirefinch
  7. vampirefinch reblogged this from velocicrafter and added:
    In response to the bold parts: what makes you think that spanking your child and loving them unconditionally are...
  8. midori-fairy reblogged this from biyuti
  9. biyuti reblogged this from eshusplayground
  10. ashlbnn reblogged this from queennubian
  11. siddharthasmama reblogged this from sourcedumal and added:
    And this is why I am so very glad my mother never whooped me. She did not believe in. She grew up with 7 siblings and as...
  12. freshmouthgoddess reblogged this from sourcedumal
  13. eshusplayground reblogged this from sourcedumal and added:
    might makes right. This makes...MORE vulnerable to abuses
  14. sourcedumal reblogged this from chasingdunamis and added:
    All of this. Even the way we TALK about corporal punishment is a happy remembrance of violence. “Get that ass beat,”...
  15. zorlock reblogged this from eshusplayground
  16. anji-beast reblogged this from eshusplayground and added:
    WORD TO THE FUCKING MOTHER
  17. negative-euphoria-rabbit reblogged this from eshusplayground
  18. queennubian reblogged this from eshusplayground
  19. ianishollywood reblogged this from chasingdunamis and added:
    I know I’m white, but I come from a family where there was two separate results for beating your children. I was spanked...
  20. furnaceofchildlove reblogged this from anedumacation and added:
    Disclaimer: I’m not interested in critiquing or judging anyone else’s decisions as a parent, and I know plenty of people...
  21. twistedtothesun reblogged this from jesuswasacommunist